I’M BACK!

Dearest readers,

I have to take this moment and apologise for my leave of absence for the last few month. I haven’t taken this blog very seriously despite having huge ambitions to be a writer. I’ve taken a step back, evaluated the blog and (also my life but I will explain that soon) come back to you all with a new blog name. Welcome to ‘Being Twenty something’- same randomness, same blogger, different style different attitude, and no that doesn’t mean in your face, bite me attitude, I mean my attitude to writing and the way I see and express things, in other words, blunt honest and no holding back.

I WILL NOW APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR ANY LANGUAGE SOME MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE. I try not to swear but sometimes some words cant get across a feeling as well as a swear word, so apologies.

I am taking leave now of my long habit of hand written journal writing and embracing technology and keeping and online, live, say it how it happens blog. I’ve not enjoyed keeping a hand written journal for a long time now but find it easy and more interesting to write online. I will be as always keeping a kind of scrap book of memories at home, which I guess will also end up on this blog. Expect more nitty gritty ramblings. I am a passionate person, I read and see things daily that move me, either to piss me off, feel happy or upset. I’ve never actually been good at expressing myself, its only a new recent thing and sometimes even then I say too much…but what does it matter, at the end of the day it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it.

Its like not so long ago, all over the news has been a story of the boy who lost his hand petting a tiger. I don’t feel any sympathy at all for the kid but everything for the tiger. Firstly, why would your parents put you in that danger? The railings are there for a reason. Every child is brought up knowing Lions, and tigers and bears (oh my) are WILD ANIMALS! Even if this wild animal is caged and on exhibit, it doesn’t make it any less wild, so if you walk willingly up to a tiger and stoke it knowing all this, you’re either A) Naive B) suicidal c)Really stupid. Everyone my think I’m being harsh? Maybe I am, as at the end of the day it was a child that has suffered the injury. Ok fair point, but this child was STILL old enough to know better. And why do I feel for the tiger? Well he was just acting on his natural instincts, being in a zoo, and looking at the video and images that have gone viral, This tiger wasn’t in the best of habits, so maybe, bored, fed up maybe hungry, followed everything he knows, and to bring down attackers or prey. So a tiger was being a tiger, and may lose its life for acting the way it should. The human race do sometimes sicken me.

You get the general idea. So what have I been up to since my last blog post? In all honesty not much. A lot of reflecting and planning and being shot down as quickly as I stood up. Things seem to be calmer now and a plan is in place, ( I again will explain this in a moment) and its all looking good.

Okay so, when I last wrote I was planning a gap year. my heart got ahead of my head as it tends to do, and realistically this was never going to happen over night. I have moved my plans of travelling to around 4 or 5 years time. This gives me a chance to sort out everything before I up and leave the country, and obviously save up and hopefully win the lottery. (HA!) Being unemployed for this length of time I have found really stressful and trying. I have worked since I started college and having this long leave of time I am drifting into a rut. To keep my head above water I have been trying to keep myself busy but its also hard in this day and age as everything has a price. Also I have my own house, yes I have benefits and am not complaining of the help I am receiving but I don’t feel its enough. I have always paid my taxes, my largest tax reduction I ever received was 140 something. I now live off around 45 per week, and I’m supposed to magically pay the long list of bills I have on this money, including adding towards rent and council tax. Its NOT happening. I am getting into debt and there is nothing really that can be done, and you know was maddening? Turning on the TV and seeing advert after advert appealing to donate to starving people over the world. How about helping the starving in this country? I’m sure there is some? I mean I’m lucky I have support from friends and family so I do get meals, but what if people out there are like me struggling to find work, keep up regular payments on your home and feed themselves? Again, which are you most likely to sacrifice? I have at my lowest point in my unemployment starved so I can pay bills just to keep them off my back. Its not easy at all. I feel for those that are genuinely struggling and feel a burn if hatred to those who cheat the system. Deliberately having children to keep the regular flow of money into their greedy accounts. I’m not complaining its unfair, I am grateful for what help I do receive and know without it I wouldn’t have my house or what not.

Taking all this into consideration I am still managing to save at least £4 per month to go into the gap year fund. Its not much but considering I am on such a tight budget I am surviving. With so much free time on my hands and it being August, there is a lot of stuff happening about Education, with students receiving A Level and GCSE results. I do feel in these months thoroughly depressed. I feel I have done nothing with my life in my twenty something years and went in long search of a career plan. Well, the job centre had already armed me with this tool and I wasn’t even aware. I was given a slip of paper with a website on and out of pure boredom had a look. Everything given to me is obviously to aid me in seeking work but I wasn’t expecting this….

The National Careers Service, is a government run organization to help young people whom seek advice with every aspect of careers. Not only can you speak to advisor over the phone, have regular Email conversations with your advisor, but the website is full of information and tools to help you. You have an option to make you own account to keep track of your progress. They also have skills tests which help you decided which is the best career track to take. I completes all these and was really surprised by my results. My first Option was Medical Technology, working in medicine, with people and animals, my second maintenance, service and repair, something that had never crossed my mind, like engineering. (to be honest I was annoyed at this suggestion! No idea why but it did!) then followed Arts, Crafts, and Design and publishing and Journalism. I king of expected these options to be higher on the scale but at least they turned up. Next back on the website I looked up the job profiles listed under each category, ignoring Maintenance entirely. (yes I’m stubborn) and actually developed a surprising list of possible careers, mostly taken from the Medical and Publishing and Journalism lists. I always thought writing is my goal but was hugely swayed by the Veterinary options. In utter confusion I reported back to my career plan written by my Advisor Jeff and short-listed and researched in depth the possibilities to had to two. I decided that I’m going to pursue both. One as my main career, the other a back up.

So now as I write this awaiting my confirmation email, I am a student of Veterinary Physiotherapy. YAY GO ME! And on the side still learning to be a creative writer, which could lead to a manner of all jobs. I am excited, I do admit. I have also collared a work placement with flexible hours and can now confidently look for a job doing what ever as I continue my studies (and begin).

Also while I am close to coming to a close on this blog post I would like to take the opportunity to introduce the newest member of the fluffy household. ( I know I am so going to contradict what I said earlier about finances but this was my decision and it hasn’t made my situation any more unbearable, maybe a lot more bearable. ) I would like to introduce Lottie, my new baby kitten. She is now twelve weeks old, I’ve had her for two. She is tiny and currently asleep curled into my thigh. She is an evil little madam, with tenancy to bite, claw and attack when you least expect it. Before staring this blog I was in fact online looking at kitten toys when she sat innocently beside me, like butter wouldn’t melt, watching then dives forward securing her tiny needle point teeth into my elbow and wraps her legs digging her claws into my fore arm. Not only did I jump 10ft in the arm, I nearly dropped my already cat abused laptop and nearly cry at the sudden pain engulfing my arm. None of my cats have been so brutal in play as she is, if she can make the big cats cry, she’s not one to be messed with! ( as I write this, Bandit is perched on the very edge of the bed, little lady sprawled directly down the middle and Poor Elmo curled up behind the bedroom door).

So once again I apologise for my leave, I will attempt to write as much as I can for now on, with Vet school and the rest of it. Hope you enjoy the new improved blog and get an idea of what its like (in my view) being twenty something!

PS. that website is https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk

Check out the other pages of the blog for regular updates too!

Love MJ xx

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I have no idea what to call this

Im having a bit of a moment. I think that’s the best way to word it following some random research from a book im like 10 pages away from finishing and a discussion leading me to write this now.

The book is “About a boy” by Nick Hornby. Probably most have seen the film with Hugh Grant,  but im  ot talking about the main characters. Im talking about the time the book was set. April 1994, the death of Kurt Cobain. Ok to be honest I knew the name. Baring in mind I was 4 when he did I did pretty well to recognise the name.

The death of kurt is mentioned in the book and so is the circumstance of his death and me being me was like did that really happen? And satisfying my curiosity I looked online and dove into the life of Kurt Cobain. All I think now is he wasnt just famous he was a human who clearly was crying out for help long before he died.  He had a wife and daughter but what got me was his suicide note addressed to his imaginary friend “Boddah”. Doesnt this alone speak truth?

Not getting to dragged down in the death of kurt cobain but something else. Lofe its self. Kurt expressed in his letter how guilty he felf for not being able to love the music the way he once did so much so it drove him to death.  Isnt this really people afraid of letting othets down?  What about dpong it for yourself and screw every one else.

My travel plans have been wavering over the past few days because of ideas that other people have planted in my thoughts.  Thanks to my own curiosity and (sadly) Kurt Cobain I am saying SHUT UP! if no one can be happy for others they’re obviously miserable in their own lives.  Sort your own out before digging at other people.

Don’t give up on dreams either, you are talented embrace ypur strengths and remember what ever you do in life haters are gonna hate!  Ignore them and do whatever for you and nobody else!

Sorry that’s a bit of a ranting post but things like others negativity towards each other and lack of self confidence makes me mad! No one ia going to live your life for you so get out there and live it while you can!

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Learning a new Language

Thursday 26th June 2014

So, the bucket list begins!

I had a good look at my bucket list today and noticed a few I can do now. So what’s stopping me? I started the photo challenge this week and I thoroughly enjoying, and I have thought of a few things I want to add, but not yet.

Today I started learning Italian. I love it. And the only reason I got into it was by reading Eat, Pray, Love. I’d never heard an Italian person speak their own language into I listened to the audio book of this, even though the author herself isn’t Italian, she speaks fluently and I just thought it sounded amazing.

I’ve never taken interest in other languages before, being forced to learn French and Spanish was horrible! I knew how to count to 10 in German for some reason, I think my uncle taught me but that was far as my learning curve went.

So how do you start learning a new language? I remember years ago in out library they used to have these sets of books and CDs to learn with but now sadly they are a thing of the past. I looked up local language classes, yeah the usual suspects, Spanish, French, German…NO! I looked online, still nothing looked easy enough to learn by.

I went to WHSmith and looked for Italian phrase books, RUBBISH! How to learn? Almost on the verge of quitting I pulled out my Samsung Galaxy Tab and updated my apps. It was half way through a Jousting match on Rival Knights (an ace game on android I must say) when something in my tiny brain clicked and shouted ‘LOOK FOR AN APP!’

Well, I uploaded the google app store and flicked through the endless lists of language apps. I read hundreds or reviews, and picked out the ones that included Italian. In the end I chose the app Duolingo.

Duolingo is a fun creative app which helps you learn another language using visual and audio methods. It goes through each section with a range of speaking, listening and writing. Its free, which is also a bonus and you can buy extra lessons, but it covers nearly everything! Food, animals, places, clothes, plurals, questions, colours to name a few.  It focuses on your strengths and weaknesses and reminds you to practice daily. I have so far found no fault with this app at all. It has a wide range of languages to teach including

  • Spanish
  • French
  • German
  • Portuguese

The extras you can buy (for the Italian) are idioms and Flirting (how to say chat up lines in Italian!)

In my short time I’ve learnt a lot. I can write, all the words for Man, Woman, Girl and Boy. I can say I am/he/she is a boy/girl/man/woman. I can say/write I/he/she/they eat/drink (water/bread/an apple)

I recommend this app to anyone interested in learning another language or assist anyone who is currently learning one!

La donna mangia la mela!

( the first full sentence I wrote, spoke and understood) The women eats the apple!

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Random Rambles

Wednesday 25th June

Mid-week! I don’t know why I’m excited it’s not like I have a job…anyways, I’ve had a real buy week thus far, Monday and Tuesday consisting of meeting up with people I haven’t seen in months and years. Yes I am a bad friend and I know it.  Today I caught up with my own personal study and writing. My characters have been left waiting for at least two weeks now so I thought I should give them something to do. I changed my main characters name and now get confused referring back to her old name. I changed it because it sounded to feminine which to be honest this character isn’t, but I started the plans for this story almost six years ago,  old habits die hard.

I’ve reminded myself of my bucket list and my travel plans as my mind hasn’t been as focused on the subject very much. As every the everyday stress of life overtake all. I have trained myself to think if something I want to buy is a ‘Want’ or a ‘Need’ Needs are acceptable, a want isn’t. I’ve also got into the habit of putting two-pound coins into a saver tin. When its full I’ll cash the money into my ISA to go towards travelling stuff.

Today also marks the day my nephew is officially a month old and is smiling (without the help of wind). So I suppose there is plenty going on.  I’ve often wondered how my life differs from everyone else. Looking through my contacts and linking the names to faces mentally, everyone is leading their own paths. I have friends that are new and more experienced mothers and fathers, I have friends that are In full time work, others that have moved away, a handful that have finished university, one who has just left school. I often love asking about what people are now doing and what people planned on doing. Some wanting to be million pound CEOs now have a family and treasure them instead of a career.

I read back over my old journals and read over the plans I had and changed again and again, most to suit my friends and not myself. It’s bad how easily influenced I am, I often felt I didn’t want to be left behind or forgotten. I didn’t what to be the failure and it became a constant fear. Now, so many years later I realised I should’ve done what everyone else was doing. Put myself first.  I’ve been told again and again I should take my own advice, so I am.

Maybe dreams are reachable only if they’re our own….

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Everyone has a theory

I had an odd dream that I won thw lottery. Odd because I don’t actually do the lottery but the dream basically turnede into someone I wasn’t. I think the idea was planted not long ago by an article I found about a lottery winner quiting his job and traveling with his winnings.

If I did ever wim the lottery and found myself with loads of cash this is what I think I’d do.

Pay off all bills.  The obvious first. All the little and latge bills in including the 50p library fine paid off. I would then put a large amount into savings. (For a rainy more urgent time in life- you never know!)

I would sort my family with homes.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to buy them houses. No way. I would find them homes and pay for deposit and most furnishings.  My nephew and niece and god kids would eaxh receive money for them to do with as the please..they wanna.spend it on sweets well go crazy.

Now for me. I’d pay at least 8 years full rent on my house. I love it so much I don’t want to give it up. I’d hire a gardener to make my dream garden real. I’d decorate each room how I planned and spoil my boys in every way possible. When I was happy with my house I’d make arrangements to go travelling.

I’d pay for my first flight, buy a macbook and leave the UK. I woukd travel as planned and work around the world as planned with my best friend. 

I’d also donate to charities I support amd help In any way to make small improvements. Money changes people alot..I’ve always known this..I’d want to help me.and otbers but remain the same..I wouldn’t buy 300 pound socks or pay 1000 poinds for a cat..I’d still rescue and bargain hunt.

Some times dreams reflect on our inner fears..I wouldn’t want to become someone I hate..I wouldn’t want to be treated any different and help all those that have helped me and more. Usually imaging what you’d do with lottery money shows what kind of person you are..selfless or selfish,  cruel or kind. I don’t think I’d ever win the lottery,  but if I did you domt need to ask what I’d do as what I’ve just written is what I’d do.

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Little odd things…

My brothers girl friend was telling me today that my baby nephew is one month old tomorrow.  Hasnt time flown by? We both agreed he’d grown exceptionally fast and is a chunky monkey.

“I don’t want him to grow up, I want him to stay small forever.” If only this was possible.  Its a part of life. Strangly I also came across a story this evening of a women and her dolls.

This women had 4 children and then became sterilised.  Some thimg she now regrets but found these crazy life like dolls.

Sending the story on to my friend we have both this evening dug deep in pure interest and amazement at these strange dolls.

The women in the article “adopted” four which they all have names, cots and moses baskets to “sleep” in. They wear nappies and have them “changed” and she spends alot of time dressing and buying for these babies.  I have found myself fascinated with the subject and am feeling a strange want and lure towards “adopting” my own.

This dolls are hand painted to resemble a real baby as much as possible. They have birth marks veins and even milk sports dabbed delicately on their pale skin. They are gender correct and also weighed down with a special filling to resemble an actual baby weight.

These remarkable dolls bring joy amd happiness to women of all ages..children delighted to care for their own babies, women unable to have children find comfort in these little dolls. I am amazed.

I plan on researching the art and detail put into them to give such a realness to them. I wouldn’t even mimd learning to make them.  Just amazing

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Scary life like dolls sold online!

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Why gardening is dangerous for your health

I learnt a valuable lesson today. Dont leave a job too long or you will later pay for the price.

I have my own dinky house with a patio back garden with a lovely tree and fern plants. Beautiful.  Then there’s the front.
For weeks and weeks I’ve promised myself and my garden I WILL TEND TO IT. But I haven’t.  Today I decided it was time. The grass where up to my hips, the weeds had over taken and its a jungle.

All was going well into the garden took revenge.

Firstly I got stung. Not a little a lot.  Those evil little weeds armed with stingers went through my garden gloves and attacked my palms and fingers.  So I pulled out the garden sheers and snip. Bye bye.

Secondly,  the bug dance. Im usually ok with insects. I don’t mine the odd spider or bug scuttling away and disappearing back under the rock I found it. Not the bugs that I found today. Firstly was the tiny spider with the really long legs running up my arm. I freaked and did the crazy arm flapping thing. Poor spider flew off. Probably off to talk the next thing into scaring me stupid.

It’s a know fact to all my friends and family I have an irrational fear of moths. I have no idea why so when I yanked out another weed and a huge moth flew at me I almost cried. I did run and hide in my shed where the rake feel amd whacked me on the shoulder.  Thanks.

Ok fine.  I’ll go and tidy the patio.  Yeah not even safe there. I pulled the annoying weeds that get between the crazy paving, grabbed a handful of dandelions and a frog jumped out at me. Well took me by total surprise, pulled the weeds and fell back. The frog sat there looking at me almost smug. Yeah thanks to you too.

I abandoned the patio to the frog and returned to weed pulling around my little pond. Nice and easy. No creepy bugs, no amphibians,  no tools trying to attack me. Perfect.  Oh how wrong I was.

I tugged a practically tough weed. If any gardeners are reading this, you know the sort. The well rootes stubborn little buggers that refuse to budge. Well you aren’t getting the better of me! Putting my weight into it I grasped the palnt amd yanked. It came out easily. As I pulled it to gain balance I stepped back. WRONG! My book hit a brick sort of whiplashed me back. Instinctively took another step wrong again felt my ankle twist and landed in my pond. Thankfully the pnd has only just been dug out and is not filled with water just yet. How lucky for me to land on something so hard. Well I took my gloves off, threw the fork and dragged my self in the house slammed to door!

That was hours ago. After creaming my stings and puttimg ice on my ankle im pleased with my progress but have definitely decided garden is bad fpr your health!

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