I was flicking over some of my older posts and before I carry I wanted to clear up all loose ends before I start concentrating on the future and what’s next for me and this blog. As we all know my ideas don’t always go to plan, in fact I don’t think any of them do but it never stops me trying new things. So lets start.
Not much really. I have a few things going on at the moment and plans but they should be covered as we tie up some more loose ends, but right now answering that question, there isn’t really anything new.
What’s the career plan now that counselling failed?
I can’t believe it was a year ago I was studying counselling. Where has that time gone? After the huge flop I was dismayed and upset and felt really hopeless but James my inspiration, a hard-working individual has taught me to do what you love. I know I’ve said this before but he really loves his job, I know this because he doesn’t stop talking about it. Now that’s passion. I have a passion. I love being creative and I love animals. I do have a plan and with what I expect to be a very slow beginning, I have started or in the process of starting up my own business, I have a few idea and hope to be sharing them with you all soon. Watch this space.
How are the pets?
I’ve not had much luck with the pets recently, as I have written previously I lost two of my cats, meaning one day they went out and didn’t come home. Elmo left us in November and after searching for months and months, have ended the search with firm belief that if he wanted to come home he would, I think his found another less chaotic home with people who love him dearly. He is chipped and I live in home one day my boy will return. Bandit went missing February this year. As this was totally out of his character we were instantly worried he’d been hit by a car or something else. Again after months of searching and nothing I’ve come to believe my poor boy has left us to ‘Cross the rainbow Bridge’ The day Bandit went missing he was a bit under the weather. I was going to see how he improved in the day before taking him to the vets, but he ventured out and never returned. I think with cats the not knowing what happens to them is the thing that hurts the most. I miss them dearly and still look when I’m out in case I may spot them. Blue is good. He recently was chipped in case he wanders off like the other two, but he really doesn’t enjoy the outside world alone. His more happy to sit in the garden with me or James. I think his enjoyed being a solo cat to be honest and I believe that’s how he will remain, after losing the other two I don’t have any intentions to rescue, adopt or buy any more cats. I think Blue had adjusted to being a single cat very well and wouldn’t appreciate an intruder now.
Sandi out old boy, I will admit isn’t too great at this moment in time. He has back troubles and most of his days he spends in bed. His not active any more and can no longer go for walks. His happy enough though. Recently he had a collision (accidental) with a small child…the child ran into him and jarred his neck and back. His been a bit worse off since. He has prescribed pain meds which help him but after discussing with my mother about his quality of life, we have booked him into the vets to see if there’s anything else that can improve his state and if not we may take the decision to have him put to sleep. As hard that is to write, it’s not fair on the dog if his living his days in pain. I often question putting animals to sleep because we have to make that decision and we can’t communicate with our beloved pets I often think, do they want to die? Do they even know what’s happening? I know we have all these beliefs about religions and afterlife and what’s next so to speak but what animals? Do they know? Do they welcome it? I had to make this decision for my beloved Tess and I hated it, I don’t really want to make the same choice for Sandi. Hopefully there’ll be something to make him feel better so we wont have to take that route.
I don’t know if I wrote before we got a hamster, Cleo. We got her back in March and she’s a cutie. Sadly we may not be keeping her for much longer as much as it saddens me again. Blue who totally ignored her has now developed an unhealthy interest in her and is worrying her a little. I can’t get her out as much because the cat wont leave her be. It may not happen as we love Cleo our little diva a lot but I also want to put Cleo’s welfare first. I wouldn’t like to live my entire life in a cage and never venture any where. Again its one of those we’ll have to discuss and decide for her. I will keep you posted in all areas as always.
How is life?
What a question to ask myself. Its OK. Not what I want right now, meaning there’s a lot I want to do and changes I NEED to make, and have started. There’s a lot of decisions again I need to make for myself and not worry about other people, that I do all the time. I need to decide what’s best for me. At the moment, I am trying to move house. I want to move into a slightly bigger house but am in a position where I can’t. Just a lot of small niggle things that I need to sort and its the small niggly things that bug us the most am I right? I love my hose and have for 4 years but I’m not 100% happy here any more and I don’t know why. In general I’m happy most of the time. Things do get me considerably down still and my anxiety and depression play on it and things do still get on top of me a lot. I need to learn to think for me and not everyone else. I need to stop worrying about other people and do what I need to and what to. I need to stop waiting for my boyfriend to make up his mine about us and what he wants. There are two of us. I need to put myself first and make the moves towards the things to make me happy. I have started which I’ll get to soon.
What happened to dieting diaries?
Funnily enough, Dieting diaries will be making a return next week. The last diet I tried I really wasn’t in a good place and lapsed back into my old ways. During this period I gained about a stone, starved it off myself (literally and I’m not proud of that either) and then gained all back on again. I’m back at slimming world now like I was originally with a bigger support circle, Becky James and Vicky are all with me. Which is nice and I am enjoying it more this time round. I have a new group and group rep? I don’t know what you call them and she is far more supportive than our previous one and I have made a really good start. I’ll post my season 3 Dieting diaries later this week. Keep a look out for it 🙂
What happened to Fusion Fiction and films?
Well the main reason was time. I didn’t have enough time to read an entire book and go to the cinema to watch a new movie but I will be doing to odd reviews here and there so they’ve not vanished.
Did you start a Vlog?
Not yet. Hopefully soon when have a bit more time. I really want to Vlog but it’s also a confidence thing. Putting yourself on the internet leave you open for criticism and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that just yet. Maybe in the autumn.
Do you still have a Facebook page?
No. I no longer use Facebook as I found it too depressing and a source of my anxieties. I haven’t used Facebook for around 4 months now and have noticed a big improvement. I use Instagram and find the environment a lot happier, you can follow me, MJwhite525.
Will Fad Friday return?
In a way it’s never left. I do have passions and crazes I regularly share on my blog it may be on a Friday or it may be on a Sunday. It’s just not under that name any more.
How did the Pokemon reading challenge go?
In all honesty I didn’t do it. Again it was a time and a lack of interest in reading. I will review the challenge soon and pick some new books to read and come back to it. I am slowly getting back into reading again.
Why didn’t throwback Thursday work?
I found it too triggering. My old journals aren’t full of the happiest of memories, I didn’t tend to focus on the good as I used my journals as a venting space and to write about all the things that I couldn’t say out loud. After reading through one journal I felt it wasn’t something I wanted to relive just yet. Maybe in 10 or 20 years down the line I will but for now I’ve wrapped them up and stored them in the shed to that day.
Are you still in a relationship?
yes. James and I have been together coming up 10 months now. We are building a life together and hopefully soon will be living together.
Do you still game?
I do! Between James and I we have a PS1, PS2, Xbox 360, a Nintendo Wii, a PS4, a PSVR and various handhelds. I don’t game as much as James but I do enjoy the odd hour here or there. I also assist write game reviews for James Blog. (link below)
Raven is James and I’s new Black Labrador puppy. She is currently 10 weeks old and will have her own post days to update you all on her progress and how she grows.
What should we expect from Fusion?
More posts. I cannot promise I can blog regularly, but I love blogging and sharing things with people and I want to make the time to do these things. I have features I love writing and want to continue to write am going to make the effort to keep it going. Thank you all for being such loyal followers. I appreciate each and every one of you!