Dieting Diaries 2#

Dear fusionist (this was writing Tuesday 21st July, I haven’t had a chance to publish it to now)

Today in the dieting verse, I have really struggled.  I will not lie. All I have wanted to do is give and submit to the badness that actually usually brings me so much joy. I have avoided this like a champ I must say. I’m not being big headed but the tiny cell left in me to say NO today deserves a platinum medal. I felt pretty damn crap all day. When I feel like this I eat all the bad things and it makes me happy. HAVING TO SAY NO TO THIS WAS A MASSIVE CHALLENGE!

The first real test began when I left the house. Breakfast is okay, I can gorge of fruit and porridge as I normally do most mornings. That’s cool. It was when lunch time came around and I was feeling pretty bored and fed up. I had apples in my bag but who wants apples when you’re in the middle of town surrounded by so many delicious options (obviously the more calorific) first stop was a coffee shop. Ignoring a counter of cakes wasn’t that easy. I took my filter black coffee away feeling a bit proud that I was even able to order a black coffee (not a large strawberry milkshake with cream and marshmallows) and return to a table without glancing at the menu of arguing with myself the rights and wrong of cake eating.

Challenge number two. To be fair I was stupid. I was out all day and didn’t think to excuse myself to head and get a healthy lunch or snack and let myself go hungry and fill up silently on diet fizzy drinks. It wasn’t too bad to I eventually left and visited a supermarket. Grabbing another diet drink I boycotted the cheese sandwiches and other gloriously temping items in the fridge and basically legged it home. By this point I was getting mardy. My already low mood now at breaking point all I wanted to do is not bother with any kind of cooking and just head to the closets takeaway. I’m please to say as much as the cravings, the urges and the want was there, that tiny cell said no and I prepared a quick tuna salad to nom while a healthy Tea of qourn lasagne cooked (6.5 syns) I was proud I waited and realised it was the first time I have really ventured out without thinking about a basic food plan. Organisation is key and already I have planned tomorrows meals. There are places in town that do have healthy alternatives. I know I am too strict with myself. I noticed all day I was thinking in those places where temptation was in full blown I recited YOU CANT HAVE THAT. I can have that and I need to learn to allow that instead of saying NO which makes the ‘dieting’ more chore worthy I should balance my meals and say well actually YES you can have this…I need to be kinder to ME. After all it is ME I am doing this for. I should enjoy it or what is the point?

I am now happily back home in my comfort zone, away from the anxieties of life nomming grapes. I ache from shoulder to palm from my recent boxacise fandom and really just want to sleep. Weigh day tomorrow. Hoping for a good result. I don’t want to be disappointed with myself after all the effort I’ve made this week. *fingers crossed*

MJ xxxx

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Dieting Diaries #1

Diet diaries 1 MY HISTORY WITH FITNESS

Dear fusionists

I have officially been dieting properly for a week. I say properly as I have cut out those crafty sweets and sugar treats that so happen to appear as if by magic and travel into my mouth. I have been a gym goer for 6…’glorious’….painstaking weeks and have nearly lost 2 stone. All I have to say is ‘Thank the Lord is going!’ Okay so I’m not going to bore you with every single maniacal moment of eating right and wrong and how to run (just imagine someone else is going o get that cake before you) or why the gym is right and everything else is wrong. That is because I cannot choose for you!

My history with fitness has been rubbish. I quit karate after achieving yellow belt; the only walking I ever did was to McDonalds and back, when I did move to the countryside I pretended to have hay fever and sulked for 3 months. (I was 14 I might add). P.E was the only lesson I failed in, this is because I would bunk off hide in the toilets and eat wotsis. This was pleasurable to I got found out and in MASSIVE TROUBLE. After that I literally went on strike and in the end all P.E lessons for me were cancelled. End result= no exercise ever. My turning point in finding exercise fun was when I was house sitting for a friend. She had one of those new Wii fit consoles and I was hooked on to the Just Dance games. Oh my life I was on it day and night, jiggling away entertaining no other than myself and her dog. In those four days I shifted 4lbs. this was the turning point!

I now own a Nintendo Wii, the fit board, the JUST DANCE games and a gym membership. The Gym was something I wasn’t planning but got roped into by my doctor. For 4 years now I have suffered as you may know from previous posts, with manic depressive episodes where I can end up self-harming or hurting myself, Anxiety and with those an eating disorder or bulimia. I am not proud of the eating disorder in the slightest. Bulimia is one of those demons I’ve had to overcome in time. Being bulimic I have yo-yoed manically with weight, one time losing a scary 3 stone in 6 weeks because I refused to eat anything at all, to catapulting 5 stone in a couple of months because nothing could filled the void that depression and pain had caused. In the time I lost a lot of weight very quickly I developed a bad habit of making myself sick every single time I ate something. This led to medical issues. Over time I was just vomiting blood as it couldn’t take it anymore, and now I am on stomach tablets for the rest of my life because my own stomach can’t handle the acid it produces for digestion. One thing thought that has stuck with me with these episodes is the fear. Mainly od losing control.

I am scared of food. (Not like the hot Doritos in the roulette game) I’m scared of fat and gaining more to my hefty size but the slimming word diet gives me just the right amount of control and if I don’t want it I don’t have to have it but I can swap it for something less terrifying, like instead of chocolate I can have a slice of brown bread. If you’ve used your health option already this is a syn, but to me a healthier syn than a chocolate bar.

This week hasn’t been so bad. I have had an active weekend and found a new fondness for boxing. (I asked my best friend if this makes me even less feminine than I already am, she didn’t reply!) Boxing is really fun I have been a stress head for the last month as I have a lot on and cannot be doing with annoying self-centred people so imagined I was in fact lamping them in the moosh. Oh the thrill, I officially punch like a girl but I thoroughly enjoyed it and was often heard saying ‘oh, didn’t like that did you, well I don’t like you!’ to a punch bag. Food hasn’t been easy. If I didn’t have so many events coming up I’d be laughing. I’ve had TWO barbecues in the space of three days but am proud that I have been able to still remain healthy by selecting things I’m allowed and synning the extras I fancied and ‘could afford to spend them on.’ I also opted more for the salad and potato side dishes over the meat and bread which is also new to me. Usually I would fill up on bread never touch a salad left and eat at least 2 Luxury quarter pounder burgers (12 syns each!) plus a lot more that was on offer. I have also kept more active on the Wii fit that seems to be very confused my sudden use as again usually 22 days pass and when I did it was only for a 5 minute stint. Now I’m do 2 or more 15 minute sessions a day. I think it’s well impressed. I’ve noticed my fitness increasing though. I’m improving in some games, my posture is improving and I’m finding I can do tasks longer than I could, like hula hooping (from 30 seconds to 3 minute’s) Jogging (a minute to about 5 minutes) and my general sense of balance.

I also had a gym session today. My first in a week. I was absurdly impressed that I (I’m so sorry to write this) I earned sweat patches. Somewhere embedded in my tiny brain is the Dim Reaper. The Dim Reaper loves stupid novel things and has dim stupid ideas about them. This one being, ‘oh you have sweat patches on your top! You’ve worked extra hard today!’ when in reality It was hotter but never the less proud of sweaty pit stains (don’t worry I’m grossed out too!) I do admit I am an epic fail at the gym. I have even composed a THINGS TO NEVER DO AT THE GYM list. (all written from first-hand experience.) This is it thus far.

Rule 1. DO NOT wear a thong, as breezy as you think it maybe, things travel in movement. You’ve been warned.

Rule 2. Make sure when you take a drinking bottle you

  1. Make sure the lid is screwed on tight before putting into your bag or
  2. Carry it if you know it leaks

If you don’t your gym gear will, end up wet and if you’re unfortunate like me will end up with the appearance of having wet yourself.

Rule 3. Make sure your leggings, joggers, bottoms fit well. DO NOT stand still on a moving treadmill to yank them up when your backside is feeling breezy, the treadmill will not care and will throw you off regardless.

Rule 4. No matter how many times you listen to Vogue at home and have mastered the voice gymnastics, you ARE NOT Madonna and it isn’t fair to inflict your voice on other gym goers. They were enjoying it in till you tried to deafen a badger by singing out load.

Rule 5. When an item of clothing has the word SPORT in it, pay attention to it and wear it. SPORTS BRAS are VERY IMPORTANT. A normal bra WILL NOT withstand the force if you decide to jog. It will snap and stab you in the breast and leave a lovely mark that resembles a hicky. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

And finally Rule 6. Be nice to other Gym goers, these people are there for the same reason as you. Slapping away a 6ft builder builders hand because he interrupted your session of Judge Judy to push your headphones into the port properly IS NOT acceptable behaviour.

So if you’re planning to join the gym, don’t do anything on this list and you’ll be making friends and enjoying yourself in no time!

Right now I’m feeling the boxing muscles and the Just Dance session and the walking and the other activities I perused today. I have T-rex arms I can’t touch my head. I’m going to try and starfish on my bed, nom as many grapes that is physically possible (You know you’ve had enough when you resemble a hamster with chubby cheeks) and think how much closer all this is brining me to my happiness and dreams.

Happy dieting fusionists, if you are

Lots of love as ever

MJ xx

p.s to find out where and how to join your Local Slimming world group, check out their website. Its amaze balls!

http://www.slimmingworld.com/

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Dieting diaries introduction

Hello fusion friends

As you may have learnt from my previous posts I have joint the gym and began the long road of becoming a new slimmer me. I usually hate sharing things about my body and eating habits but it may help another person so I’m willing to share. My diet doesn’t consist of anything too stupid like meal replacements or a bowl of flavoured water. Its the balanced diet helped along with slimming world.  I have been on Soooo many diets in my short time and slimming world is by far the best. I lost two stone last time I was on it and still enjoyed a luxury of a chocolate bar. My relationship with bad food is a strong bond and I dont like things or people that blatantly say “you shouldn’t be eating that.”

Well, why tell me if I shouldn’t be eating it, when it exists to be eaten? It’s food right and not play dough it Should be eaten. Anyways I’m rambling.  Lets tell you how I make this work and go into weight…the nasty subject.

Ok slimming world if you’re not familiar with it lets you eat a balanced diet with a consistently of healthy extras free foods and super free foods and of course syns. For a balanced diet you must include all of these. (Yes syns too!) It really works.  You can eat as much of the free and super free as you like. These include fruit and vegetables. Free foods are potatoes, pasta rice and grains, lean meats and poultry, seafood, eggs, fat free dairy and things like tofu amd Quron.  So alot you can nom!
(Dont worry it comes with a guide book,  its my food bible if im honest!)

Healthy extras is next. You have healthy option A and B. Healthy option A is dairy products which are high in calcium.  Mainly milk and cheese. Option B is choices of food containing a high level in fibre,  bread and cereals. You get to choose one from each list a day. I usually have milk and porridge. And if want bread later on count it in syns. 1 slice of brown bread from a 400g loaf is 2.5 syns.

Then finally syns. This is everything thats not included as a healthy extra, free food or a super free. Its easy once you start I promise.  You can have an allowance of 1-15 syns a day.  It may sound like alot but you need to be very careful as syn values vary and you may not want to waste them if you want that freddo at the end of the day (5 syns!)

A good Example.  Lets say you want a bacon sandwich.  You’ve already used your healthy options on cereal and milk. So you want
2 slices of bread 
Bacon (with fat)
Butter
Ketchup
Cooking oil

2 slices of bread is 2.5 so 5 syns
Bacon with fat it 6 syns
Full fat butter 2 syns
Tomato ketchup or brown sauce 1 syn
Cooking oil is a syn for a tablespoon amount. 1 syn

For that one sandwich your using all of your 15 syns!
You can rethink this and infact save your healthy option,  cut the fat off the bacon, cook it in a grill or use fry light cooking spray, use low fat butter or none at all and reduced sugar and fat sauce.

2 slices of bread (healthy option (
Bacon no fat     Free
Low fat light butter 1.5 syns
Reduced sugar ketchup  Free
Fry light cooking spray Free

This same sandwich now at only 1.5 syns. Its just about rethinking options.

Now I’ve bored you enough about the diet lets talk action.  I follow this diet and go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. Hour sessions.  Thats all. No short cuts thats it.

This year I was referred to the gym by my doctor as my weight got worrying worse than usual.  I had gained a monstrous 5 stone since being made redundant and eating my self happy. Putting my weight up to 19.8 stone. I was shocked and disgusted with myself and believed the gym was a little flag of warning to Sort it. Since being on this new diet for three weeks I have already lost a stone and a half. It works. I’m never hungry and I feel great.

So I would like to share my dieting jorney with you all. Its not always easy when there are peanut butter cornetos in the freezer but its nice to share experiences and hopefully inspire others. Dont let me preach health to you because I wont. Its your choice in life. Its up you what you do.

So that was my introduction.  I am.now logging off as I have a counselling appointment.  write back later with a diet diary post. Bye all
MJ xxxx

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The Tortise and The Hare

Dear fusionists

Im sure most of you are familiar with the tale of the tortoise and the hare.
If you’re not here it is in my telling.

There once lived a tortoise and a hare. The hare was famous for his speed and often boosted to all the other animals how he could never be beaten as he was the best! Many animals has challenged the hare and lost for the hare was indeed gifted with great  speed. One day the hare was feeling his most boostful and set about challenging the other animals again for a race but there was no body left to beat! Hare was fed up. Why wouldn’t the animals race him? Suddenly up a dirt path plodded tortoise. Hare had an idea.
“Say tortoise will you race me?” Hare knew that tortoise is the slowest creature in the forest and would beat him for sure. tortoise slowly turned his gaze to Hare and blinked slowly. All the other animals that were witnessing this encounter muttered to each other.  Hare would surly humiliate tortoise!  To everyones surprise tortoise agreed.
At noon everyone gathered at the old oak tree. Hare was bobbing about,  hopping and leaping showing off his agility. Tortoise on the other hand plodded to the start line waiting for the race to begin. 
“You must race badgers set on the other side of the vally. Ok” tortoise and hare both nodded
” 3…2…1…Go! Lion roared at the start line. Hare leapt into action, his heart drumming in his chest. He panted and took a sneaky peek behind. Tortoise hasnt even left the start line! Ha! this will be easy! Hare ran. He passed moles hole and rats nest. He waved hello to heron and fox as he tore across the woods. It was a warm summers day in the woods and soon hare grew hot.
“Badgrrs set is over around the next corner. Surly I can stop for a rest.” Peering around hare couldn’t see tortoise anywhere. Imaging the poor fellow still at the start line, Hare nestled down under acorn tree enjoying the shade. Soon his eyes began to feel heavy and he drifted off into a sleep.
Tortoise tripped along happily reciting to himself. Something his parents had always taught him.
“Slow and steady wins the race.” Tortoise was sure he’d win. Hare would grown tired and hot and with this thought tortoise spotted the sleeping hare under the acorn tree.
Slow and steady tortoise passed hare and headed towards badgers set beaming. “Slow and steady”
Hare jumped awake as a roar of applause filled the forest.  He’d fallen asleep! Leaping off towards badgers set hare saw tortoise step over the finishing line. NO! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Hare scooted over the finishing line panting hard and watched sullen as the animals congratulated tortoise on his victory.  Hare felt ashamed and approached tortoise and apologised for being mean to tortoise.
Tortoise smiked and liftes his head to hare.
“Slow and steady wins the race!”

Ok so that’s my version of it. Its probably different but the concept is the same. My point of this story  is the same. Recently I’ve felt like hare. (Without boasting) and sped off into something I’m not sure I 100% like. I have rushed through my illness and pretended for a long time “I’m ok” and “things are great!” Where as really they haven’t been. Things in my life are constantly in loop of bad bad bad good bad bad bad.  I know this is my fault. I’m rushing to get things done and prove to everyone I CAN BE GOOD AT THIS without asking myself is this really what you want? This goes for alot of things, careers, movies, books,  day to day activities basically everything.  And as a result my not fully cured illness has returned and I generally feel rubbish and confused about alot of things mainly the things I want in life.

Its not easy finding yourself as you question everything about yourself. Do I really like this song or do I like.it because my friends like it.  Do i really want to see this film or are we watching it to be included into some kind of debate.  Do you really like the gym or are you going to just please everyone else?  To be honest I dont know.  Life doesnt come with a reset button like in the sims.

I need to be more like tortoise and slow down. Enjoy the life I’m gifted with and listen to my own mind. Being the way I feel at the moment I feel resentful of meeting up with my friends which is wrong. Its not their fault. Now I’m going to be like tortoise.  As from today I’m going to be slow and steady and listen to what I want. Dont let the ticking clock ruin your joys either. 
This is a very, like hare, a sullen MJ login off.

What would you do to find yourself? Please comment.  Be happy to hear from you

Take care my fusionist friends

Love MJ xxxx

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Dieting, days, and Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn……

Good morning fusionists,

Well hasn’t it been hot recently, could it be, Possibly, maybe be SUMMERTIME???? we should be so lucky! by the title I guess your feeling a bit amused by the said title? I wouldn’t get too excited, there isn’t very much to share in all honesty. maybe the Dun Dun DUNNN can be I’m actually writing a blog post! oh yaaaay.

Its the first of July *turns over Channing Tatum calendar and strokes the picture smiling like a goon* and I have a few small things to plan for the next few weeks. Firstly lest update you with what I have been doing. Not much. I have though joint the gym. Yes you are allowed to think oh dear lord…because that’s what I think everyday when I get there, step onto the treadmill ands begin moving at such a pace it shouldn’t be allowed. Its working though. I have lost a stone in my three week stint.That and turning in to a human rabbit but living off of lettuce and carrots. That’s an exaggeration, I’m actually on the Slimming world diet and I cannot fib and say its awful, I cannot bear to look at another tomato, it allows me to ration and eat all the bad stuff that put me in the position to need dieting in the first place. (I tell you now saving 5 syns of your daily allowance for a Freddo is totally worth it and you will savour that tiny bar for hours, nibbling millimetres off the edges not wanting it to end!) I guess I should blog more about my dieting and gym experiences. It tends to make my friends laugh.

Dieting and gym, what else have I been up to? well I have counselling with my previous counsellor, which do not feel like a ‘therapy session’ it feels like a moaning session, and since this week she’s on TRAINING not only am I missing our session to moan but I feel abandoned. How dare she go on a fire safety course?! I have to wait now to NEXT TUESDAY to see her and rant away but my problem is, all the things bugging me today or in the last two weeks I will forget then yet again sit in almost silence wondering what to tell her, but as soon as I get out the door….AHHHHHHHHHH the hulk stirs.  I do have the random comment asking what is my problem? I don’t know. If I know I would be happy and announce it to the universe. I will be a proud lunatic. I just don’t know. The only way I can describe myself is by comparing my self to ‘Mad Fat Diary’ character Rae Earl. Not  100%. I have a relationship with food I either love or hate it, I cannot deal well with issues and have panic attacks and self harm (not for a while now but the thoughts occur now and again) but that’s life. I’m on a long road to getting better I just need to endure the bumps and breakdowns along the way and try and fix them to get moving again.

One good thing that has occurred since my last post is…..I got another fuzz baby. NOT a replacement for Lottie in the slightest but a distraction and a new member of the family. This little ball of fluffy anger is like me, a laid back lunatic. His name is ironically Blue. No he his neither coloured, or acts blue. he is a lively, evil genius in cats pyjamas. His is irritating, cuddly, spiteful and dopey all rolled into something so small. I love him to bits. Blue has made his self truly known in the household. He had terrorised Bandit to the point he is scared of this tiny ninja, become the bestest friends ever with my Nephew and decided mums feet are in fact the greatest toys to ever cross his path. he has learnt ‘Nanny’ is the one that will tell him off and that clawing her will not put him in anyone’s good books and also mum shouldn’t paint her nails because he will chew off all the pain staking hard work. Bottom line is a rebel without cause and a ‘purrfect’ member to the family.

so that kind of wraps up this post. I honestly have a mind block on what else I wanted to write about, no venting on here this week. I will be writing more as a ‘homework assignment’ from my counsellor. If anyone would like to leave any comments on anything really please feel free to. I appreciate the feed back! I will write again in a couple of days. right now I need to get up and get ready because its DATE DAY! woodside Falconry park YEAAAHHHHH have a great day everyone!

Love MJ xxxxxxxx
image

Welcome Baby Blue xx

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Goodbye tiny paws…

Dear Fusionists,

I’m sorry it’s been such a long time since I last wrote, I’ve had a lot on, and I mean a lot. Good and bad. In my absence, we celebrated one year of the fusion blog! AND 100 LIKES on my blog! OMG! Yay go us! A full year, feel awesome about that! What started off as a small space to vent has turned into interest of a lot of people, I thank you all for following my random ranting, and hair brained ideas and a lot of ramblings. I thank you all millions.

Firstly I want to begin with some sad news. I’ve tired writing this post so many times but it didn’t sound right, and I guess it makes it too final and real…On May 20th Sadly my little Kitten Lottie died. As heart breaking it is to see it written here there is no way I can continue to pretend she is with me when clearly she isn’t. I feel 100% responsible for what happened to her and wish more than anything I could rewind and hour before, despite all the kind words people have expressed to me and the loss of my ‘fuzzy child’ I still feel responsible and miss my minion lots. Lottie was run over on a main road in the early hours of the morning, an hour after I let her out. She travelled a lot future than I originally believed and sadly she was hit by a car. I will spare details but my baby was returned to me and is buried by her favourite sunny patch by the pond in the garden. I visit her daily with my boys. We sit and watch bees and the butterflies of the garden, remembering our little spitfire tear around the garden after them. Such a little character.  Our little lady, queen of the White house will be forever remembered and in our hearts. We miss her so much and our lives have a big empty space in it. We still look, cry, call to her, but know even though she physically cannot be here, she is here in spirit and memory.

The loss of Lottie has been hard along with other stressful matters surrounding my life, its times like this you appreciate the light, the goodness, such as friends and sunshine and good food and company. I remind myself how many people are without these to support them through tough times. I cannot say Lottie is my only loss and hurt in my life at the moment, nor is she my only stress. There are other things like in everyone’s lives, things that shouldn’t be shared online (which I shall not be doing) But it’s great to know through tough times I am so overwhelmed by the amazing people in my life and I wish I could repay each and every one of them somehow. And by the amazing friends I say two only. Out of all my friends only two have taken time to sit and listen, offer advice, and show enough kindness to melt the hardest of hearts. I will remember this always. I know you guys read my blog so thank you so much for everything; I cannot express how much I appreciate everything you do for me. You have no idea how much it gets me through the hardest of days and times.

To be honest there isn’t much more I want to add to this post. I am writing something special to Lottie to be posted on this blog, so keep an eye out for that.  I will write again soon guys! Thanks again for the amazing 100 followers! I never expected my like ranty blog would reach 1 person let alone 100! Thank you all!

Write again soon Love

MJ xxxx20140813_162123

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Drifting….

Dear Fusionists

Have you ever felt that sometimes you’re just drifting through life accepting everything thrown at you and just not finding the motivation or will power to slightly give a damn? Yeah same here then. Not friends with me? Do I look like I care? Didn’t pass that exam? Oh well…Lost a job? Whatever. That’s literally my mood at the moment. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. I suppose not mastering up a happy vibe to celebrate a friend’s triumph is bad but meh…I don’t care.

I have had a pretty rubbish time of things recently and this is the result. I’ve argued and fell out with people, lost things, broken more and quit other stuff. I am annoyed. That is the main thing stirring around in my head at the moment. That I have the same crap dished out all the time and never catch a lucky break.  EVERYONE ELSE DOES! That isn’t even an exaggeration. It’s true. Can you blame me for the ‘meh mood?’

I have a little good news, like a tiny glimmer. I haven’t told anyone and why should i? I discovered I am quite good at what I do in the veterinary-verse. I’ve had two offers from different vets to learn the skills (voluntary to begin with) then sort of study as an intern work based thingy. I should be wowed and excited and honoured to be offered not only one but two separate placements. I can’t even master the energy because I can’t see it lasting. I appreciate the offers and haven’t turned them down but I don’t know what I can do to shake this ‘meh mood’.   I even received my first ever fan mail this last week, from a kid who liked a video I made on Disney crafting. It was sweet and nice to know that something I did made the smallest impact on someone.  This week I haven’t even posted on the site, I feel guilty as I know I’m leaving people hanging but the meh mood is winning.

It’s my birthday in two weeks, and marks a year of keeping this blog. That’s gone so incredibly fast its really scary. Looking over theses posts I do seem to have ambition but have the concentration of a toddler and quit quickly what I start. Maybe all this miss fortune in my life is all my fault and I’m just looking to blame other people? My last post about the close friends was resolved even though now I’m still very iffy about it, but did I bring that on myself? I haven’t a clue. Sometimes I do convince myself it is easier to have no friends or people to share things with, that way you can’t get upset, jealous, angry or resentful to them or yourself. I need to ’review’ a few aspects in my life at the moment and I think for the first ever time to put myself first over everyone. Not listen to what anyone else thinks and do what I like and not mould myself around other peoples likes and personalities and lives. I know for sure my phone book and friends lists need a clean out.  Gym. Slimming world. Career. University. Life.

Mehhhhhhhh…………………….

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