Diet diaries 1 MY HISTORY WITH FITNESS
I have officially been dieting properly for a week. I say properly as I have cut out those crafty sweets and sugar treats that so happen to appear as if by magic and travel into my mouth. I have been a gym goer for 6…’glorious’….painstaking weeks and have nearly lost 2 stone. All I have to say is ‘Thank the Lord is going!’ Okay so I’m not going to bore you with every single maniacal moment of eating right and wrong and how to run (just imagine someone else is going o get that cake before you) or why the gym is right and everything else is wrong. That is because I cannot choose for you!
My history with fitness has been rubbish. I quit karate after achieving yellow belt; the only walking I ever did was to McDonalds and back, when I did move to the countryside I pretended to have hay fever and sulked for 3 months. (I was 14 I might add). P.E was the only lesson I failed in, this is because I would bunk off hide in the toilets and eat wotsis. This was pleasurable to I got found out and in MASSIVE TROUBLE. After that I literally went on strike and in the end all P.E lessons for me were cancelled. End result= no exercise ever. My turning point in finding exercise fun was when I was house sitting for a friend. She had one of those new Wii fit consoles and I was hooked on to the Just Dance games. Oh my life I was on it day and night, jiggling away entertaining no other than myself and her dog. In those four days I shifted 4lbs. this was the turning point!
I now own a Nintendo Wii, the fit board, the JUST DANCE games and a gym membership. The Gym was something I wasn’t planning but got roped into by my doctor. For 4 years now I have suffered as you may know from previous posts, with manic depressive episodes where I can end up self-harming or hurting myself, Anxiety and with those an eating disorder or bulimia. I am not proud of the eating disorder in the slightest. Bulimia is one of those demons I’ve had to overcome in time. Being bulimic I have yo-yoed manically with weight, one time losing a scary 3 stone in 6 weeks because I refused to eat anything at all, to catapulting 5 stone in a couple of months because nothing could filled the void that depression and pain had caused. In the time I lost a lot of weight very quickly I developed a bad habit of making myself sick every single time I ate something. This led to medical issues. Over time I was just vomiting blood as it couldn’t take it anymore, and now I am on stomach tablets for the rest of my life because my own stomach can’t handle the acid it produces for digestion. One thing thought that has stuck with me with these episodes is the fear. Mainly od losing control.
I am scared of food. (Not like the hot Doritos in the roulette game) I’m scared of fat and gaining more to my hefty size but the slimming word diet gives me just the right amount of control and if I don’t want it I don’t have to have it but I can swap it for something less terrifying, like instead of chocolate I can have a slice of brown bread. If you’ve used your health option already this is a syn, but to me a healthier syn than a chocolate bar.
This week hasn’t been so bad. I have had an active weekend and found a new fondness for boxing. (I asked my best friend if this makes me even less feminine than I already am, she didn’t reply!) Boxing is really fun I have been a stress head for the last month as I have a lot on and cannot be doing with annoying self-centred people so imagined I was in fact lamping them in the moosh. Oh the thrill, I officially punch like a girl but I thoroughly enjoyed it and was often heard saying ‘oh, didn’t like that did you, well I don’t like you!’ to a punch bag. Food hasn’t been easy. If I didn’t have so many events coming up I’d be laughing. I’ve had TWO barbecues in the space of three days but am proud that I have been able to still remain healthy by selecting things I’m allowed and synning the extras I fancied and ‘could afford to spend them on.’ I also opted more for the salad and potato side dishes over the meat and bread which is also new to me. Usually I would fill up on bread never touch a salad left and eat at least 2 Luxury quarter pounder burgers (12 syns each!) plus a lot more that was on offer. I have also kept more active on the Wii fit that seems to be very confused my sudden use as again usually 22 days pass and when I did it was only for a 5 minute stint. Now I’m do 2 or more 15 minute sessions a day. I think it’s well impressed. I’ve noticed my fitness increasing though. I’m improving in some games, my posture is improving and I’m finding I can do tasks longer than I could, like hula hooping (from 30 seconds to 3 minute’s) Jogging (a minute to about 5 minutes) and my general sense of balance.
I also had a gym session today. My first in a week. I was absurdly impressed that I (I’m so sorry to write this) I earned sweat patches. Somewhere embedded in my tiny brain is the Dim Reaper. The Dim Reaper loves stupid novel things and has dim stupid ideas about them. This one being, ‘oh you have sweat patches on your top! You’ve worked extra hard today!’ when in reality It was hotter but never the less proud of sweaty pit stains (don’t worry I’m grossed out too!) I do admit I am an epic fail at the gym. I have even composed a THINGS TO NEVER DO AT THE GYM list. (all written from first-hand experience.) This is it thus far.
Rule 1. DO NOT wear a thong, as breezy as you think it maybe, things travel in movement. You’ve been warned.
Rule 2. Make sure when you take a drinking bottle you
- Make sure the lid is screwed on tight before putting into your bag or
- Carry it if you know it leaks
If you don’t your gym gear will, end up wet and if you’re unfortunate like me will end up with the appearance of having wet yourself.
Rule 3. Make sure your leggings, joggers, bottoms fit well. DO NOT stand still on a moving treadmill to yank them up when your backside is feeling breezy, the treadmill will not care and will throw you off regardless.
Rule 4. No matter how many times you listen to Vogue at home and have mastered the voice gymnastics, you ARE NOT Madonna and it isn’t fair to inflict your voice on other gym goers. They were enjoying it in till you tried to deafen a badger by singing out load.
Rule 5. When an item of clothing has the word SPORT in it, pay attention to it and wear it. SPORTS BRAS are VERY IMPORTANT. A normal bra WILL NOT withstand the force if you decide to jog. It will snap and stab you in the breast and leave a lovely mark that resembles a hicky. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
And finally Rule 6. Be nice to other Gym goers, these people are there for the same reason as you. Slapping away a 6ft builder builders hand because he interrupted your session of Judge Judy to push your headphones into the port properly IS NOT acceptable behaviour.
So if you’re planning to join the gym, don’t do anything on this list and you’ll be making friends and enjoying yourself in no time!
Right now I’m feeling the boxing muscles and the Just Dance session and the walking and the other activities I perused today. I have T-rex arms I can’t touch my head. I’m going to try and starfish on my bed, nom as many grapes that is physically possible (You know you’ve had enough when you resemble a hamster with chubby cheeks) and think how much closer all this is brining me to my happiness and dreams.
Happy dieting fusionists, if you are
Lots of love as ever
p.s to find out where and how to join your Local Slimming world group, check out their website. Its amaze balls!